I have been here before, that’s why I am not OK

“Have you ever watched a parent die?”

“I mean really watch them die? Have you ever sat and watched as their health deteriorated from day to day or hour to hour, even minute to minute?”

That’s how I feel like responding when someone asks how I am doing or if I am ok. Instead, I will tell everyone that “I am hanging in there” or that “I am doing the best I can.”

In all reality, I am NOT ok. I am NOT “hanging in there.”

I am a mental and psychological mess.

You see, I did watch a parent die. And it was a lot like what I have watched over the past two weeks.

I watched as my mom was given the diagnosis of cirrhosis that would eventually lead to her death.  Over the next few years, I was there for the doctor’s appointments, I was there on the days where she barely had enough energy to get out of bed but fought the fatigue to get up and go to work. I watched over her at home and then at her hospital bed when the illness became so much that she just couldn’t overcome it.

I held my mom’s hand as she drew her last breaths.

That’s why I was not ok as the doctors told me that my dad was showing signs of cirrhosis. That’s why I wasn’t ok when they would talk about the disease and the symptoms and what it could do to the body. I wasn’t ok because I already knew the answers.

And I was not ok as I watched my dad go through multiple surgeries last week in which they removed about 45% of his lower bowel. When the surgeon gave me the word that he would realistically give my dad a 10% chance to survive the procedures, I held my wife and the only words I could utter were “FUCK. I can’t lose him. Not now. Not this time of year.”

What was so devastating about the time of year?

Mom passed away in February of 2011. But the hospital stay that saw her health start rapidly declining was right after Christmas of 2010. It took me 5 years to finally put up a Christmas tree or really get into the Christmas spirit. That was last year.

And now this. Around Christmas. And I was being told there was a 90% chance I was going to see the holiday without my dad being around.

He came out of the surgeries and has shown a remarkable amount of resiliency, according to his surgeon. But the surgeries aren’t the only issue he is facing. He is still looking at a long road ahead because of the issues with his liver, which along with the cirrhosis, include a large mass that they need to be able to look at.

In the meantime, dad has been dealing with some mental fogginess or confusion. It’s a typical sign in patients with liver disease, as I remember with my mom. Some will remember the story I once told of my mom telling me that she made sure the hospital televisions had Lifetime so that I could watch sports.

Well, dad has been coming up with some stories of his own.

When I asked him what he was doing as he was pulling his covers off, he told me he was getting ready to go into the store. When he was babbling, he told me he was talking to me on the phone (there was no phone in sight). When he put his hand to his mouth, he told me he was drinking his Pepsi (he hasn’t been allowed to have anything to drink in almost two weeks).

While some of those are funny, or seem funny on the surface, they hurt down deep. They tear me up inside because I have seen this behavior before. I have seen as the effects of the cirrhosis and the failing of the liver mess with someone’s mind, be it for a short amount of time or over a prolonged period.

And that’s part of why I am not ok.

There’s another thing that is killing me inside. It’s the shred of self-doubt over whether I have made the right decisions or not. While there is becoming more of a chance that dad will eventually leave the hospital than originally thought, the question still remains how healthy he will be and if he will be able to lead any semblance of a normal life. We won’t have any of these answers for a while, probably.

But the question that still lingers in my mind was if I made the right call to allow for all of the procedures and to put him through the pain that he is currently having and any difficulties that might come. In the end, was it worth it?

I really don’t know. And neither do the doctors.

When mom passed away and I made the decision to take her off the ventilator, it was becoming more and more clear that she would never be able to live without the help of the machines. That’s not what she would have wanted.  And now with dad, the decision was much more difficult because of the uncertainty of how he would respond to the surgery and just how bad his liver really is, a question that can’t be answered until his bowel was healthy enough to proceed. I have had the internal battle of “what’s best for him” vs. “what we all hope happens” more times than Tom Brady battled Peyton Manning.

And as I sit here in his hospital room day after day after day watching as he seemingly isn’t making much progress, the questions eat at me more and more.

Did I do the right thing? Will dad ever be back to himself? Did I do him an injustice by letting him suffer? Was I selfish in my decisions because I couldn’t face losing him?

The problem is that there is a chance I may never know the answers to all, if any, of these questions.

But it’s ok, because I am hanging in there.

 

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LeBron’s True Plan for Dan Gilbert and the Cleveland Cavaliers

by Ryan Isley (Originally posted on November 1, 2014)

LeBron James just might be in the midst of his greatest plan yet. And so far, he has played it perfectly.

It all started by saying he wished he should have handled “The Decision” differently. Then he began dropping little hints over the past couple of seasons that he might be interested in a return to Cleveland to play for the Cavaliers. His next move was to opt out of his contract with the Miami Heat, which he did. This of course led to speculation of a return. Then on July 11th, speculation turned to reality with the letter he wrote in Sports Illustrated to announce his return to the Cavaliers and the city of Cleveland.

The four-time NBA MVP continued to do and say the right things when he mic-dropped at his welcome home party in Akron.

After that, it was on to the commercials. He did one for Beats by Dre, where his mom Gloria James narrates about his return home. There was the Sprite commercial that chronicled LeBron’s first true home game at Patterson Park in Akron. And then the big one dropped just hours before LeBron and the Cavs took the floor for their regular season opener. It was a Nike ad all about Cleveland and coming together.

It all felt too good to be true. And it is. Because it is all just a hoax. No, LeBron’s plan is not to bring the city of Cleveland a championship. It never was. His real plan is to ensure that Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert NEVER wins one. This is all an elaborate plot to set up Gilbert and exact his revenge for Gilbert’s letter from 2010.

You think LeBron has forgotten about that letter? The one where Gilbert called him “THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’” and called what LeBron did a “shameful display of selfishness and betrayal”? Oh, LeBron hasn’t forgotten. Nor has he forgiven. He also doesn’t forget the way he was treated by the majority of Cleveland fans and media after he left. Those same people who are right back to supporting him now. But he remembers their true colors.

LeBron has reeled everyone into his trap, Gilbert included. He has put his plan in place and all of the pieces have fit like a glove. His goal is to completely sabotage Gilbert and the Cavaliers and make sure the cupboard is all but empty when he leaves, sans NBA championship.

Remember when LeBron signed a two-year deal with the Cavs and people were worried that it might be so he can leave again following the 2015-16 season? Yeah, all part of the plan. That trade for Kevin Love? Part of the plan.  But the part that worked out even better than LeBron could have hoped this offseason was that the Cavs gave up Anthony Bennett and Andrew Wiggins, plus a first round draft pick to get Love. That’s right – the Cavs traded the last two number one overall draft picks who are 21 and 19 years old, respectively.

That’s when LeBron’s plan went into overtime. After the Love trade, LeBron talked Love into not signing an extension, even though Love’s contract expires after this current season. The two have discussed the plan, and Love will be leaving after one season in Cleveland. After all, that letter not only hit home with LeBron, it resonated throughout the league with players. He also had to talk Tristan Thompson into not accepting a longer deal with the Cavs, so Thompson could become a restricted free agent. That way, the Cavs will probably have to overpay to keep the 23-year-old they took with the fourth overall pick in the 2011 draft.

Now, think back to those commercials we discussed earlier. Sure, the last one was all about the city of Cleveland, but the first two were focused on LeBron’s hometown of Akron. This comes as no surprise, as LeBron has supported his hometown even when he was a part of the Miami Heat. This part of the plan was never questioned, but sent a message nonetheless. LeBron was returning, but cared more about making sure Akron was taken care of than making sure Cleveland was helped.

LeBron even took the step of making a nice gesture of wearing a Browns hat when he attended a Browns game a few weeks ago and has made appearances at Browns practices. Again, this part of the plan came easily, because he is friends with Johnny Manziel, so nobody gave a second thought that this might be just some sort of scam. But LeBron doesn’t care about the Browns. Just like he doesn’t care about the Indians. Hell, he wasn’t even a Cavs fan in his youth. It is well-documented that LeBron is a fan of the Dallas Cowboys, New York Yankees and of course Michael Jordan’s Chicago Bulls. So why care about Cleveland teams now? It isn’t because he is happy to be back, it is to pull more fans into his web. And it has worked.

The toughest part of the plan though? Actually making sure that the Cavs don’t win a championship with the team they put on the floor every night. This explains his 5-for-15 shooting and eight turnovers in the season opening loss to the New York Knicks. He led the Cavs to a win over the Bulls on Friday night, but still shot under 50%. All part of the plan. LeBron isn’t going to lose games on purpose, but will do just enough to make sure this team isn’t the number one seed in the Eastern Conference when the playoffs begin.

The playoffs will be where he pulls off the best part of the trick. The Cavs will be a favorite by many to win the championship, but LeBron is going to make sure the Cavs lose in the first round not only this season, but next season. That way, the team makes the playoffs which means they can’t get into the NBA Draft Lottery with a chance at a high draft pick but they also bow out of the playoffs early without a shot at a title.

After their first round exit in 2016, LeBron will announce that he is not going to sign long-term in Cleveland and will take his talents elsewhere to continue his pursuit of championships. While he will join a team that is already championship ready, the Cavs will be stuck worse than they were in 2010. Imagine the letter that Gilbert will write in the summer of 2016. And to think – had he not written the one in 2010, LeBron would have never launched this plan for revenge.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. And LeBron James is serving up a frozen cup of it for Dan Gilbert.

(Obviously, you guys realize this is just a joke, right? I in no way believe LeBron has actually hatched a plan to set up Dan Gilbert for the ultimate revenge – Ryan.)

Comments? Questions? You can leave them here or email Ryan at ryanisley23@gmail.com. You can also connect with him on Twitter @isley23.

 

 

 

 

 

My Mom, Her Support and the Real Decision

by Ryan Isley (Originally posted on More Than A Fan on February 22, 2012)

As I sat down to write another column for More Than A Fan, I looked up from my laptop and saw a picture I have seen a hundred times. Only this time it seemed to have more meaning.

In the living room of our house, there is an 8×10 picture on the wall of my mom and I at my cousin Katie’s wedding in June, 2008 in which I am walking my mom down the aisle so she could stand in for my aunt, who had passed away when we were younger. Above the photo is one of those sayings you rub on to the wall.

It reads:

“Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.”

ryan.mom.weddingI sat in this same spot to write on this same laptop exactly one year ago today, with two exceptions. The first is that the picture was not there. The second was that I wasn’t writing a column – I was writing a eulogy for my mom.

I know what you are thinking. You are sitting there saying “Hey Ryan – this is supposed to be a sports column.”

You are right. And it is – well, sort of.

You see, if it wasn’t for my mom and her support, I would not be writing for this site and you would have never read anything I have written for this site or others for which I have written. When I was growing up, the only thing I cared about was sports. School would come and go and I would give an effort, but as my mom always told me – if I spent half as much time on schoolwork as I did on learning sports statistics and history, I would have been a straight-A student.

Despite that, my mom always supported what I loved doing. I played baseball from the time I knew how to throw a baseball and my mom did everything she could to make it to each game. I remembered this in that eulogy:

She was also always at every baseball game I played and I always knew I could see her in the stands cheering me on. She worked until 4, so when I was in little league and games were at 6 she would be there when it started. As I moved to high school, games were at 4:15 and I knew that by the time we reached the second inning she would be there, even sometimes leaving work a few minutes early to make it before first pitch.

As I moved out of high school and started working towards what I wanted to do with my life, she was always there whenever I needed word of encouragement when she could tell I was struggling, a compliment when one was deserved or constructive criticism when it was warranted. She was the one who I ran every major decision by before coming to a final conclusion to what I would choose.

Her support was the reason I got back into sports media when I joined SportsTalkCleveland.com and then moved to the Cleveland.com Digital Sports Network. The Cleveland.com DSN folded just weeks after my mom passed and I am sure she would have been supportive of my decision to join More Than A Fan as well.

When my mom was admitted into Akron General Medical Center for the final time on February 9, 2011, it was because the levels of toxins in her blood was so high that it made her go into a state of confusion where she had no recollection of what was happening around her. As she was admitted into her room, the first thing she told me was that she was going to make sure to order cable so that I could have Lifetime to watch sports. While she obviously had the channel wrong, the one thing she always remembered was my love of sports. I joked with her that the WNBA season was during the summer and that it was not currently ongoing, therefore Lifetime was of no use to me.

When I told her of this story days later, she didn’t believe me. When it was confirmed to her by others, all she could do is laugh and tell me “See – I was thinking about you.”  And that’s the thing – she was ALWAYS thinking about me.

In fact, as she laid there in her hospital bed over what we now know would be the last couple weeks of her life, she was always making sure that I was able to watch games or go to game or whatever I needed to do to write columns for DSN at that time. If I had a game to go to that night, she would tell me to leave the hospital, go to the game and write. When I told her I would be back after the game to check on her, she told me not to worry but to just go home and get some sleep and that she would see me first thing in the morning as always.

That brings me back to the real decision.

The funny thing about decisions is that there are some that are so difficult to make at the time and no matter how much time passes, you never know for sure if you made the right one or not. That decision for me was on February 20, 2011 and was the reason I sat here to write that eulogy.

Of course my decision wasn’t being made in front of cameras at The Boys and Girls Club and Jim Gray wasn’t there to ask me easy questions leading up to it.

My decision was made at the Cleveland Clinic after being awoken at 5:45am by a doctor telling me my mom was having seizures and after conferring with a number of doctors on my own about my mom’s actual condition. It was after these meetings that I was faced with what no child ever wants to be confronted with – the real possibility that today may be the last day without their parent.

I had to make the decision of whether to allow my mom to continue struggling on life support with very little hope of her making it through (and even if she did, not being able to live a normal life) or to sign the paperwork to have her life support removed and allow her to pass peacefully.

After agonizing over it, I decided the best thing for my mom was to remove the life support because she has suffered enough. I just couldn’t see her take any more pain.

The problem was that this decision – not unlike “The Decision” – wasn’t just one that would affect me. It would affect my mom’s father, her siblings, my brother, my dad, the rest of our family and also anyone who had ever met my mom. That’s the thing – my mom left a lasting impression with everyone whose path she crossed. So I wasn’t just making this decision for me. And that was the hard part.

When I had finally made the decision, I ushered my grandfather, my two uncles and my aunt into a private room where we could talk before I went and talked to the doctors or informed the rest of the family. One by one, they all agreed with me that I was doing the right thing and that they understood it was the decision that had to be made, no matter the hurt that would accompany it.

After meeting with them, I called a conference with the rest of the family to tell them what was happening before I went to tell the doctor of this final decision. Once again, everyone was in my corner and told me they felt that I was doing the right thing.

Their support was so reminiscent of the support I received from my mom through the years, which made the most difficult decision of my life feel just a little bit easier to make, but not much.

Now a year later, the decision still eats at me and I know I will never have 100% confirmation that the decision I made was the correct one. That’s the thing about those tough decisions – you just never know.

The Browns Need to Go Green in 2011

by Ryan Isley (Originally posted January 28,2011)

For Cleveland Browns fans, the Super Bowl is right around the corner. No, not Super Bowl XLV between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers.

The Browns’ Super Bowl – the 2011 NFL Draft.

Earlier this week, ESPN‘s Mel Kiper said that the Browns could be left to select between wide receiver A.J. Green of Georgia and defensive end Robert Quinn from North Carolina when their slot at No. 6 in the 2011 NFL Draft comes up.

With all due respect to Quinn, who is a great player and will probably be a playmaker on the defensive side of the ball in the NFL, this decision should be a complete no-brainer for team president Mike Holmgren, general manager Tom Heckert and new head coach Pat Shurmur.

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Maurice Clarett Gets a Second Chance

by Ryan Isley (Originally posted 7/29/2010)

In 2002, a young 18-year-old nationally heralded running back by the name of Maurice Clarett accepted a scholarship offer to play football at Ohio State.

Eight years later, a 26-year-old Maurice Clarett enrolled in summer classes at Ohio State to resume his academic career after spending three and a half years in the Toledo Correctional Institution on convictions of robbery and weapons charges.

The names may be the same, but make no mistake, as these are two completely different people.

The 18-year-old Clarett ran for 1,237 yards and 18 touchdowns as a freshman despite missing three games due to injury.

The five-foot-11 freshman also had several key plays, including the winning touchdown in the second overtime, against the Miami Hurricanes in the 2002 BCS National Championship Game, helping the Buckeyes win the national championship.

The spectacular season had people around Columbus buzzing like very few times before and made Buckeyes fans start to believe that Clarett could join Archie Griffin as the only two-time Heisman Trophy winner, if not becoming the first player to win the award three times if he stayed all four years.

Then the bottom fell out for the teenager at Ohio State when Clarett was suspended for the 2003 football season after he was charged with filing a false police report. Eventually Clarett plead guilty to failing to aid law enforcement, a lesser charge.

After his suspension Clarett decided, along with USC freshman wide receiver Mike Williams, to challenge the NFL’s eligibility rule and therefore be included in the 2004 draft, a challenge that was eventually denied.

Despite not having played football in 2003 or 2004, Clarett was unexpectedly taken in the third round of the 2005 draft by the Denver Broncos, despite a poor showing at the NFL Combine.

Clarett was released by the Broncos before playing in even a single preseason game and was never claimed by another NFL team.

Unfortunately that was only the beginning of a downward spiral for Clarett.

Shortly after the ringing in of the new year in 2006, Columbus police were on the hunt for Clarett in connection to an armed robbery outside the Opium Lounge club in Columbus.

When Clarett turned himself in the next day, he was charged with two counts of aggravated robbery and five weeks later, he was indicted by a grand jury on two counts of aggravated robbery with gun specifications and five other counts.

While awaiting trial, Clarett was again arrested, this time on charges that he made an illegal u-turn and led police on a chase, charges that resulted in his bail being set at $5 million.

After accepting a plea bargain, Clarett was sentenced to seven and a half years in prison, but could be released after just three and a half years.

While in prison, Clarett started to write a blog entitled “The Mind of Maurice Clarett” on October 7, 2008.

Through his writings, it was becoming clear that Clarett was beginning to change, to see the wrongs he had done and that he wanted to do better.

His last post, on August 15, 2009, read:

“One thing that really frustrates me is that I have not been relevant to my family for the past four summers. That puts a chip on my shoulder. I have no one to blame but myself.  The thoughts just put me in a zone like no other. It puts me in my “One and only” mode. I know that there is no way for me to make up for lost time but hopefully my actions in the future will help them to forget all that’s taken place in the past. I never thought I’d once again be in the position of thinking how am I going to get out of this rut. I think that the longer I wait the more serious I become. I think it’s because I have a good understanding on what it means to be physically free.”

It seemed to be the beginning to a new Clarett, the one who just this past Monday at 26 years of age started classes again at Ohio State.

The new Clarett is in a position to turn his life around and make right for what he now knows was wrong, a spot that not everyone gets a chance to be in.

One person who has been by Clarett’s side is Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel, who was instrumental in getting Clarett re-enrolled at the school.

In speaking with the Columbus Dispatch’s Ken Gordon, Tressel said that he had been working with Clarett and the school for the past few months to get Clarett enrolled and said that Clreatt is excited to be back in school.

In a statement from Clarett released by Ohio State, the former star athlete-turned-student showed that excitement.

“This is a surreal feeling to be back at Ohio State in such a supportive environment,” Clarett said. “I have looked forward to being back in school, and I’m doing my best to fit in with other students. I don’t want to be a distraction or nuisance to the football team or to students on campus.”

It seems that Clarett has found something this time around that he did not have in his first tour of Ohio State, a true sense of self and accountability.

While the former Clarett was the one getting the cheers at Ohio Stadium as he broke tackles and ran for touchdowns, it is the latter Clarett that truly deserves the applause because the next time Clarett walks onto the football field at Ohio Stadium, it should be to get his degree.

A-Rod’s 600th Home Run Not Special

By Ryan Isley (Originally posted 7/27/2010)

It is time for Major League Baseball to stop catering to the players that have cheated and therefore turned baseball into a dirty sport.

Someone needs to show Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig that baseball’s power numbers do not mean what they once did and it is not necessary to celebrate them as if they do.

New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez is on the verge of making history this week, possibly at Progressive Field in Cleveland, which it is a true shame and a slap in the face to some of the greats that have played the game.

Rodriguez is just one home run away from 600 in his career, a number that has been reached by only six other men in the history of Major League Baseball.

The problem with Rodriguez reaching the milestone is that he is a proven cheater, testing positive for two anabolic steroids in a test that was conducted in 2003.

This makes Rodriguez the third player out of what will be seven on the 600-home run list that truly do not belong, joining Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa.

The only four members of the once-elusive club should be Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays and Ken Griffey, Jr.

Major League Baseball does not see it that way, however, as they have put special baseballs into play every time Rodriguez has stepped up to the plate since belting number 599 last Thursday against Kansas City.

The numbers that once meant something in the game of baseball are now just a joke, as smaller ballparks, watered-down pitching and more importantly, cheating, has diminished what players like Aaron, Ruth and Mays had established.

Fans and even players of past generations looked at numbers such as 755 and 61 with reverence as they were numbers they thought would never be topped.

Now, those numbers mean very little, if anything, as Bonds has topped Aaron’s career home run mark of 755 and Roger Maris’ one-time single-season home run record of 61 was topped six times in a four season span after standing for 37 years, with Ruth’s one-time record of 60 standing for 34 seasons before Maris broke it.

Fans of this new generation have little, if any, knowledge of what the players in years past have done because all they have seen are players who look like they should be WWE wrestlers launching baseballs to places where they have never been hit before.

They associate history with the home run chase between Sosa and Mark McGwire in 1998 when McGwire outslugged Sosa 70 to 66, or Bonds following that up with 73 home runs in 2001 or Bonds’ pursuit of Aaron’s 755 career home runs that he took down on August 7, 2007.

Today’s fans are never taught what the true greats of the game did and how remarkable the numbers they put up really were because those numbers are so easily passed in today’s game.

The lack of history being taught to the younger generations can be traced right back to Park Avenue in New York, the home of the office of the commissioner of Major League Baseball.

Commissioner Selig and the rest of Major League Baseball have seemed to decide once again that they just simply do not care about records anymore and if a player has cheated, so be it.

The reason that fans do not care anymore whether or not a player is clean is because the office of the commissioner does not care, nor does the so-called ‘Worldwide Leader in Sports’, as ESPN broke into coverage of their own game Monday night to show Rodriguez’s at-bats.

No matter what number Rodriguez hits before he is done, the bottom line will still be that he is a cheat and this pathetic display of appreciation for a player who has cheated is just one more act in an already played out production put on by Selig and his people.

Ianello Gives Birth To New Analogy After Latest Loss

By Ryan Isley (Originally posted 11/18/2010)

Shortly after the University of Akron’s football team fell to 0-11 on the season with a 19-14 loss to Miami (OH) on Wednesday night, head coach Rob Ianello was scheduled to join the media to talk about the game.

One would expect that an 0-11 season in the first season as a head coach would be tough on the 45-year-old from Port Chester, New York, but the man who sat at the table seemed anything but stressed.

Ianello walked in with a smile on his face and even found the time to crack a joke before addressing what had just happened on the field at InfoCision Stadium. Once the recorders were on and the words starting flowing from his mouth, it was still as if Ianello was at peace with a team that had yet to win a game.

“I am certainly proud of our team, I am certainly proud of how they competed, I am proud of how they played,” Ianello started off in his opening statement. “We fought our butts off right to the very end tonight but we came up short.

“I don’t think anybody can look at our team and say we haven’t improved. I don’t think anybody can look at our team and say our kids aren’t playing with great effort, I don’t think anybody can look at our team and say that our kids don’t believe they can win. We have gotten good, we just haven’t gotten good enough.”

The opening statement was almost something that you would expect to find in a book entitled “How To Address The Media And Say The Right Things When Going Winless.” It is the same kind of spiel that was the basis of most press conferences last season given by Cleveland Browns head coach Eric Mangini, whose team started 1-11.

While it is fair and good to be happy that the team has shown improvement, the fact of the matter is that the team is still winless, and was something that needed to be addressed so I did just that with the next question.

“You say the team has gotten better,” I started out as Ianello looked at me. “What is the next step, what do you have to do to get over that hump?”

Before the question was even finished, Ianello was answering.

“Well, we’ve got to score one more point than they do,” Ianello said. “I don’t think there is any magic (button) to put your (finger) on other than we have to make a key play at a key time in the game and then we’ll make that and we’ll come out and we’ll have that win.”

So far, so good, but that is when the answer got a little strange.

“It’s like that couple that can’t have a baby and then they adopt a child,” Ianello said as the reporters looked at him quizzically. “The minute they adopt a child, the wife gets pregnant because the pressure is off. The minute we get our first win, that’s when we are going to start following through and getting more wins and we’re going to see this growing.”

Go ahead, read that quote again. Losing 11 football games in a row is similar to a couple who is struggling to bring a newborn baby into the world.

At what point does that comparison even become logical? The answer – it never does.

But then again, logic has not played a major role in the building of this football team under athletic director Tom Wistrcill, right down to the hiring of Ianello, so why should we expect anything less in the press conferences?

One of the main problems with the Akron football team is that they are spinning their wheels. The men’s soccer team and basketball teams have found success but the football team has floundered.

They have wasted the opportunity they have with the new stadium, as very few showed up Wednesday night even though the school announced a crowd of 7,671. The actual butt-in-seat attendance was nowhere near that number. The low attendance, especially for a game being shown on ESPNU, shows that the fans are almost at an apathetic state with this team, if they are not there already.

Couple apathy with poor play and guess what happens?

That’s right – you get a head coach comparing the plight of his football team to a couple who are struggling to get pregnant.